Restored Relationship - Father's Day 2016

Hello my sisters and brothers in Christ!

I pray you and yours are doing well. I am doing well, thanks to our awesome Daddy in Heaven. Well tomorrow is Father's Day, a day whereby earthly fathers are honored and celebrated! Having been raised by my mother since age 12 after coming to the United States, I have never really paid much attention to this day. I have always prioritized Mother's Day for obvious reasons, but I would in the past acknowledge the men in my life that have been father-figures to me in the United States. I am the embodiment of "it takes a village to raise a child." Being that my dad and I have been apart from each other most of my life (different countries or continents), we have had a staggering relationship. My grandmother was my primary guardian prior to moving to the United States; however, when I was 6 and lived in Nigeria, I got to be with my dad for the years I spent there. When I was younger, I was blessed to have uncles who collectively raised me and stepped into father roles, so I was not bothered by the physical absence of my biological dad. However, as I got older I realized that something was missing.

As loving as my mother is, caring as my brother is, uncles willing to be there for me, men mentors guiding me, no one could ever fill that space of my dad. In my late teen years through my early 20s, there was a sad part of me that wished my dad could be there for me. Even though I spoke to him on the phone and my family repeatedly emphasized my dad's love for me, I never felt this love. It saddened me that my sisters (different mother) had the privilege of growing up all their life with him and I never had that. Although I felt this way, I never made effort to change this and just tried to live content with this; keyword is tried. But I thank God that my dad did make the effort. God made it possible that he was able to come to my college graduation and that is when God started restoring our relationship. Additionally, God made it possible for me to return to Nigeria after 15 years last December few days before Christmas and spent about 3 weeks with my dad, stepmom, and two younger sisters. During this time, our relationship was mended and God truly proved that He is sovereign. I believe that my salvation played a big role in restoring our relationship; prior to rededicating my life to Christ, I had a veil over my face that didn't show me what a wonderful father I have, a man that is loving and caring. He is a man who loves the Lord, and I truly believe that his prayers covered me during the times I backslid.

Over the past year, God has been restoring our relationship and this Father's Day is extra special to me because that void is no longer there; I am filled with love from my Father in Heaven and my father on earth. To God be the glory. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children. Psalm 103:17. Although my dad is still not physically present in my life, he's still part of my life. He has been instrumental in my life decisions and I sought counsel from him just as I do with my mom. I have also noticed that since my relationship with my dad got better, I have become wise about the decisions I make regarding friendships with men and courting. Interestingly, even when my relationship with my dad was rocky, I always saw him as an awesome man and desired that my future husband will share similar characteristics with him; i.e. a man who loves the Lord, strong leader, and full of wisdom. Although I physically look like my mama, I see everyday how similar my personality is like my dad; he is adventurous, loves being busy, loves solving problems, and like my mom always points out - my prayers are long just like his.

If you are a father, father-figure, or mentor reading this, please use wisdom and love to serve in this important role God has put you in. The way you treat your daughters and sons matter; teach your sons to be leaders and how to treat women. Shower your daughters with lots of love and tell them to be confident in who they are. If you show them less than, then your daughters will settle for less; of course the way you treat your wives and mothers of your children matter as well. For many years, my dad always called me on my birthday and sang the birthday song for me; I would usually chuckle on the phone while he's singing, but something like that means a lot to me. It may seem corny to some, but I love that my dad calls me princess even at 25. Even when I wasn't responsive to my dad in past situations, I'm glad that he never gave up on us. I look forward to seeing him cheer for me at Miss World America next month; the first pageant he'll get to watch me participate in live. He's already in full "pageant dad" mode and has been involved in everything in this journey - from praying with me about the decision to compete, going over my speech, reviewing my Beauty with a Purpose video, and much more. Words and actions matter. I am so thankful to God that as I grow older, my salvation has improved my relationship with my mom and dad. I love having a compassionate nurse for a mom, and I am proud to be a DD (Deacon's Daughter) with my dad answering God's call for his life.

Men, allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and ask God to teach you how to be a father. If you are someone whose earthly father has gone on to eternity, my prayer for you is that you abound in God's love for you. He is a good, good Father. You can be blessed with father-figures and mentors in your life but only God can fill that space of your earthly father, not a boyfriend, husband, or male friend. Absent fathers or those with absent fathers, ask God to restore your relationship with them and what necessary steps you can take towards that healing. Ask God to teach you how to forgive and to get rid of bitterness and resentment. May the Lord restore your peace and joy in the relationship. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

God bless you.

Jesus loves you.

Restored woman living for God's Glory,
Ruby B. Johnson.

Have you given your heart to God? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal savior? If you die today, will you make it to Heaven? If no or you are unsure, do not waste any more time and receive salvation now.